


The Outpouring

by grumblesandmumbles



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Gallavich, Ian Gallagher - Freeform, M/M, Mickey Milkovich - Freeform, Shameless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-14
Updated: 2014-10-16
Packaged: 2018-02-21 02:57:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2452184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grumblesandmumbles/pseuds/grumblesandmumbles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian asks Mickey the question he's been dreading... and not just because he's weird with expressing his feelings. But once Ian unleashes the beast, it seems all Mickey has are feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When did you know?

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in Season 5, after Ian's bipolar has been stabilized from that initial depression.

They're lying in bed. The Milkovich house is blissfully quiet, maybe for the very first time. Mickey is in Ian's arms, the redhead wrapped around him, legs intertwined, his arm over him and his face pressed against the back of Mickey's neck. Ian's breathing is slow and relaxed, and this makes Mickey happy. It's been one of those great days, the ones you know you will remember for a long time if not forever, a memory they can hang onto like a life preserver when shit his the fan again... And it will. It always does with the Milkoviches and the Gallaghers. But Mickey is too happy to worry about future traumas tonight. He just wants to close his eyes and fall asleep with his man. He draws Ian's arm tighter around himself and closes his eyes.

"Mick?"

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Mickey is on the verge of falling asleep. Why does Ian have to do this right now?

"Mmmpfff Jesus, Ian, this better be good."

Ian lifts his mouth to Mickey's ear and whispers, "When did you know?"

"Know what?"

"That you... That you loved me?"

"Ian, really? It's the middle of the night, can't you ask me this tomorrow when I'm awake?"

Mickey feels Ian sigh, it would have been unnoticeable to most people, people who didn't know each other the way these two do. "Ok Mick, goodnight."

A few minutes pass. Mickey feels guilty, but the truth is that he doesn't want to tell Ian. Because his best memory is also his worst. And how the fuck do you explain that? But he figures one of these days he will have to answer it and he doesn't want to end this great day with Ian mad at him. He lifts Ian's arm and turns himself around so they're facing each other, still a tangled mess of legs, arms and sheets. He burrows his face in Ian's chest and mumbles.

"What Mick? I can't understand what you're saying."

"I said, I first knew I loved you the day my piece of shit father attacked us in the living room."

Ian is taken aback, he doesn't know what to say... And he figured he shouldn't speak anyway, or he may not get the rest of Mickey's thoughts.

"When he came in that living room and he saw us, I was never so scared of anything in my life. Not because of me, because I've dealt with enough of Terry's beatings. But for what he could do to you. Do you understand that?"

Ian simply nods, but doesn't speak.

"When he went after you my only thought was I had to get him away from you. That's why I jumped on his back, to distract him. Figured he could kill me if he wanted to, as long as that meant he couldn't get to you. And I really believed he was going to. When he pulled that gun out I thought that was it, and I was just pleading in my mind that you could get away fast enough. When he called for 'The Russian' I really believed he was calling for like a hit man or some shit. When Svetlana showed up, I didn't know whether to be relieved or even more terrified. When she got on me, and I looked at your face and how much watching that hurt you, I wished that motherfucker had killed me. It already felt like I was dying inside. That's why I flipped her over and gave it to her. Not because I wanted to, or liked it, but because I just wanted to get it over with because I couldn't take seeing you like that. I couldn't take it Ian, I couldn't, I couldn't..."

By now, Mickey is barely keeping himself together. He's openly crying and Ian is wiping the tears from Mickey's eyes with his thumbs, his hands pressed lightly on Mickey's cheeks. Mickey takes a few shaky breaths to get himself together and keeps going. He's come this far already.

"Y'know, Ian, the fears I had of my father weren't just for myself, or my sister, they were also for you. Not just in that moment, but constantly. That's why is was easier for me to stuff my feelings deep down inside and go through with that sham of a wedding. I know it hurt you, but I was more scared of what Terry would do to you. What he would do if he knew that we were still together after that day, and his shit didn't work. And what would I do if he went after you? Who would I have? Mandy? She's my sister but we've always had that distance between us. If something happened to you I'd never forgive myself. When you came over to say goodbye to Mandy, I had so much to say, but I just couldn't do it. I'd rather have you hating me on the other side of the world than loving me here and paying the price for it."

Ian pulls Mickey in closer, if that's even possible. He's rubbing Mickey's back, soothing him.

"Ian, he was ruining me. I thought I was already ruined. But then this ginger kid comes bursting into my room, all bravado, looking for his fuck buddy's gun and my life was changed from that moment. From that first time. The way you looked up at me, it was like a switch. And the more time I spent with you, became interested in actually knowing you, realized you were actually interested in me, as a person, as Mickey, I realized I could be more, have more. But I was still scared. Of Terry, hell, even of Svetlana. But when I found out from Lip that you were back, and Mandy told me off to get off my ass and go find you, I realized it was my chance. And I did it, and I knew at that point that if I was really against the wall, I'd fight for you this time. Because you've always fought for me. Chose me. Chose me over Kash, over that old fart Ned, over Lip's many objections. ANd I couldn't think of a time I chose you, put you first. Who does that?"

Mickey sighs heavily at this point. He's weary, tired from a long day, exhausted from fighting for everything his entire life. But he is going to finish this conversation tonight.

"When I saw you walking out of The Alibi at the christening, I was panicked and knew it had to be done, so I came out and released the hold Svetlana had on me, the power. The fear of Terry. I gave in. And it was the best fucking thing I've ever done in my life. I told you what we have makes me free, and that is the most honest thing I ever told you. And I'll never regret it."

At this point, Ian is the one who has tears in his eyes, and now Mickey is comforting him.

"When I saw you outside the club, how you were lying there in the snow, I knew that this time around, nothing could stop me from being there. I stayed up all night watching over you. I think I believed you would just vanish, like a ghost or some shit. But you were back with me and I just wanted to take it all in. I protected you once with Terry, but that made me ready to protect you, to love you, every day. I promised myself that whatever happened, I wasn't going back. And I haven't, and I won't. Ever. Can we go to sleep now?"

They could, and they did.


	2. Peeling Back the Layers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey is discovering that maybe, just maybe, having feelings and expressing them isn't the worst thing ever.

It's been a few weeks since the night of Mickey's late night professions of love. They haven't really talked about it since then, but there hasn't been a need to. Mickey said everything he needed to say about it at that point, and Ian was just so proud that he got anything out of Mickey at all, let alone all of that. He doesn't need to harp over it again and again. 

When he woke up the morning after, Mickey at first felt raw, exposed, vulnerable, embarrassed... But when he had looked over at Ian, still sleeping peacefully next to him, those anxious feelings disappeared. He knew Ian didn't judge any of it, and more importantly, he understood Mickey. When Ian woke up, the look he gave Mickey let him know that he loved him even more than before.

Since then, they have just been sticking to their routines. The routine is especially important with Ian's recovery. Ian has his therapy appointments twice a week, once alone and once with the rest of the Gallaghers, and Mickey and Mandy. His people. He's also back working at the Kash and Grab for extra money. Despite his history with Kash, Linda always liked Ian, and it beats her having to run the store on top of taking care of three kids. Mickey stops at The Alibi twice a day to check up on the girls upstairs. He and Kevin have formed a pretty decent relationship. They're not going to go make friendship bracelets or any shit like that, but Kev will usually take a break when Ian comes in for his earlier visit and they'll have a beer together and shoot the breeze. Mickey won't admit it, but Kev really made him feel better after he came to the bar that day when Tommy was ragging on him with that gay joke. Mickey still dabbles in side jobs when they need the extra money, but rarely. They try to keep their schedules such that one of them is free on any given day to watch Gene. Mickey refuses to call him Yev like everyone else does, and besides, Yevgeny is Russian for Eugene. He figures if he's going to be his dad, he can have his own thing with him. And there it is.

Ian has really been thriving, and it's been such a relief on everyone. He's working out again, he's not withdrawn, he smiles all the time. They know it may not last forever, but damn, it feels good to sit back and enjoy things for once. They're reveling in this stability. Mickey thinks a lot about all the progress Ian has made. How open he is in the family therapy sessions, how he always seems lighter after his individual sessions, even on the days where they touch on darker things, it's like he's unburdened when he gets back. Mickey starts to wonder, just casually at first, but then more so, if maybe therapy isn't the worst thing for people who have dealt with a lot of shit in their lives. 

Mickey wakes up Saturday morning for the family therapy session. These are always on the weekends, so that Carl and Debbie can attend without missing any school. Ian is already in the kitchen cooking, that damn early bird always gets up first. Mickey hops in the shower quick to wake himself up and throws on some clothes. Ian's setting plates out for them and Mickey comes in to kiss him good morning. "Hey Red, skip my plate today, no time to stay. I have to run a few errands before your session, I'll meet you all there." Ian pouts a bit and whines, "But I made you pancakes! You know you love pancakes!" and Mickey smirks and kisses Ian again, and grabs a few off the plate with a paper towel. Ian goes for Mickey's pants, but he squirms away before Ian can catch him. "Never said I wasn't eating, just said to skip my plate. Gotta run. I'll see you at the clinic." He darts off before Ian can get his hands on him, because if they start that now, neither of them will make it to the appointment. "Fuck you Mickey, you better not be late!" Ian yells as the front door closes. Mickey didn't really have to run errands, he just wanted to avoid the conversation that he would have to have if he really told Ian where he was going. Mickey got to his destination and opened the door. He was at the clinic, before Ian or Mandy or any of the Gallaghers. He greeted the receptionist and sat down. The therapist, she insists they call her Sandra, came out and called for him, and he went back into her office. 

"Good Morning, Mickey. You're early for the group session. Is everything alright with Ian?" she asks him.

"Oh yea, Ian's doing great. That's um... That's not why I'm here, actually. I, uh... I wanted to um, find out about getting my own individual sessions? Like, how that would work and shit?" 

This catches her attention. Mickey diligently attends every weekly session, has never missed one even when other people haven't made it, but he's not exactly a talker. Sure, he participates when things are directed to him, but he never interjects himself into the conversation, unless he and Lip are arguing. It seems to be a favorite past time for those two. "Well Mickey, if you're interested in your own therapy we can certainly explore that. Can I ask what prompted this?"

"Well, I mean listen Sandra, we know I'm not all touchy feely with my feelings and shit, but a few weeks ago Ian had asked me something and I didn't want to discuss it at first, because I knew there was a lot of shit tied into it that I never really dealt with but I didn't wanna upset him or anything, so I answered but then when I did I just kept going and I told him all these things that I just never talked about really. And I guess it felt kinda good to get it off my chest and just have it out there. And I dunno, I see how much therapy has been helping Ian and when he's really good I don't wanna be the fuck up holding him or us back or some shit. So I was just thinking, maybe I could at least try it and see what I think. But for now I don't wanna tell Ian, I wanna see how I feel about it before I make a thing about it. Cuz if I tell him and then I don't stick with it, it's gonna be a thing, y'know?"

Sandra was really impressed, but she didn't want to fawn over Mickey about it. She knew the praise would get the opposite reaction from him than she wanted. "Mickey, I'd be more than happy to work with you if you'd like. And individual therapy is between the patient and the therapist, so I won't tell Ian about it, but I think that if you stick with it that it's important that you tell him yourself. I'm glad you came in to speak with me. Let's schedule an appointment for next week and we can get more into what your goals for this process are then. How does that sound?"

Mickey replies, "Sure, that'll work. Thanks, Sandra. I'll see you back here in a few minutes, but remember, I was never here." He throws her his Mickey smile, full of charm, and heads to the receptionist to make the appointment. She can't help but smile to herself. That Mickey is a good one, even if he doesn't seem to realize it.

Ian and Mandy head over to the clinic and arrive to find Mickey outside smoking a cigarette. He greets Ian with a kiss and a smile. "Told you I'd be here, wouldn't miss it."

"Never doubted ya, Mick."


	3. Come Undone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Mickey is going to get rid of his demons, or at least keep them at bay, it's time to do some work.

Mickey is walking to the clinic for his first appointment. He knew he would be nervous, but he didn't expect it to be this intense. He feels like he's walking through quicksand, and he's second guessing even asking Sandra about this shit, let alone making an appointment. He's about to turn around and go home when he realizes he's already there. He lights a cigarette and puffs at it furiously, pacing back and forth to try to calm his nerves. When he's done, he heaves a sigh and walks through the door. Gotta start sometime, right?

The one thing that helps is that Mickey genuinely likes Sandra. She's professional but not stuffy. And, she's worked wonders with helping Ian. Anyone who is good to Ian is okay in Mickey's book. She greets him with a smile and brings him back into her office. "I have to be honest, Mickey. I questioned whether you were going to show up today." He has to laugh at that one. "Funny, so did I. Questioned it all the way to the door, but here I am." They share a laugh at that. "Well, since you did make it, why don't you tell me why?" Mickey hesitates, trying to think of where to even start. No better place than the beginning, right? So that's where he goes.

He tells Sandra any and everything that he can think of telling her. He starts with his childhood, his shithead dad, his hot mess mom. She meant well, but she could never get out of the hole she dug for herself, especially when Terry dragged her further and further down. He talked about his mother's death, how Terry's violence increased after she was gone. He told Sandra all about how Terry dragged Mickey and his brothers into his criminal activity, his tendencies towards Mandy when he really went overboard with the drinking and drugging. It wasn't so much a conversation as it was a purge. Mickey just kind of talked at Sandra, and she didn't interrupt. She jotted down some notes occasionally, but mostly she just listened. She didn't even really react, and that actually helped Mickey to keep talking. Most of the stuff he told her was such old news, he didn't really have any emotion in it. It was automatic. When he got to the more recent things, with Ian, that's where it started to effect him.

He talked about how they started off together, the early days. How conflicted he was, how closeted. The night Terry went after them, Svetlana, Gene the Constant Reminder, the wedding, Ian leaving him for the army (which she knew about, but not from Mickey's perspective), finding Ian again, coming out at The Alibi, the day he found Ian in bed with his bipolar disorder on display. As he was talking about Ian, his emotions started to kick into overdrive. He actually tried to shut himself up but it was like word vomit, just spewing out. Then all of a sudden he's crying. "Sandra, I think it's my fault." She looks up from her notepad, where she was jotting something down once again. "What do you mean, Mickey? What's your fault?" He sniffs a bit. "Ian's bipolar shit." Sandra looks at him with kind eyes. "Mickey, is that why you really wanted therapy? To fix yourself so that you could 'fix' Ian? I promise you that you and your history have nothing to do with that. Looking at the signs you all told me about, it was bound to happen for him at some point. Why would you think that it was your fault?"

Mickey takes a deep breath. "I just, I dunno, when he got depressed and this whole thing started, it was after we had probably the most important moment in all our years together, and it was such a relief and we were so happy. But then I started thinking about everything we had been through and I couldn't help but wonder if all the shit I put him through over the years just finally caught up to him." He hangs his head, feeling sad but also relieved that he's finally admitted this fear to someone. Sandra takes his hand and gives it a squeeze. "Mickey, it's not your fault. There were things in your relationship that were, just like there were things that were Ian's fault. Or both. But his disorder is no one's fault. It's genetic predisposition. His mother has it and he just happened to be the child who got those genes. You love Ian, that's more than clear. Have you told him that you've been coming to me yet? If not, I think it might be time. And maybe you two can come in together once in awhile, just the two of you, just to check in. You have both made it through a lot, and on your own with no support from anyone else. It's quite admirable, actually. But you don't want to fall back into those familiar patterns, especially when times get tough. Things are great right now, but that's not a guarantee it always will be. And with Ian's condition, there really are no guarantees. Go home, talk to Ian. I think it will be good for both of you. It means so much to him when you do. And your next appointment, how about you two come in together?"

Mickey thinks this over silently, but finally nods in agreement. Sandra looks at him and says "Mickey, if you take nothing else out of this process, you need to understand that it's not your fault. Now, go. Go home and talk to Ian and after you have, call in and make the appointment for you two. I'll see you soon." She gives his hand one last reassuring squeeze and sends him on his way.

He shuffles home, filled with dread. Taking to Ian has gotten easier over time, but easier doesn't actually mean it's easy for him. He gets home and enters quietly, listening to see if anyone's here. He sees Gene napping in the living room, so he knows someone is here. He walks through and sees Ian in the kitchen, bent over reading something on the counter. Mickey sneaks up behind him and wraps his arms around Ian's waist. "Whatcha reading, Red?" Ian smiles and turns around and wraps his arms around Mick's shoulders. "Just a recipe I'm trying, getting bored of eating pizza bagels and pancakes." Mickey laughs and Ian interrupts it with a kiss. Ian tries to go for more but Mickey pulls back. Which he never, ever does. Ian's suspicions are up right away. "Everyone okay, Mick?" Mickey takes a breath. "Yea, things are fine... But I do need to talk to you about some things." Ian actually chuckles a little and says "Mickey Milkovich wants to talk? Since when do you turn down the idea of fucking around to talk? Since when do you talk at all?" Mickey starts to get defensive, his nerves edging their way to the surface. "Whatever Ian, neverfuckingmind." Ian sighs and says "Jesus, I was kidding. Don't make me start calling you Grumbles again, why are you being so cranky?" Now Mickey is just annoyed. "Really with the Grumbles thing? One guy calls me Grumblefish at the club and you just have to jump all over that shit." He starts to walk away and Ian stops him. "Okay Mick, I'm sorry, Jesus! I was just messing with you. What's gotten into you?" 

Mickey stops and collects himself. '"Fuck, Ian. I'm sorry. Didn't mean to pick a fight with you, just stressed out. Kind of amped myself up on the walk home I guess." Ian looks at him confused. "From the walk home from where?" Mickey looks up at him, with those beautiful blue eyes, looking nervous as hell. "From the clinic." Ian looks at him concerned. "The CLINIC?! Are you alright, did something happen to you?" He starts inspecting Mickey for cuts or scrapes or more bullet wounds. Because it wouldn't be the first time... Or the second time. Mickey grabs his hands and says "No Ian I'm fine. I was meeting with Sandra. I, um... I had a session with her. And she recommended that I talk to you about it." So he does. He tells Ian all about the session, about his family stuff. He spills all the information, the information pouring out of him much like it did the first time. And Mickey couldn't help but think he'd be damned if it really wasn't easier the second time around. They stayed there for over an hour, Mickey sitting on the kitchen counter, Ian standing between his legs, but not trying to be dirty with him this time. Just listening. Occasionally, Ian will rub Mickey's shoulders or smooth his hair, reassuring gestures to coax him along. But he doesn't really need to. Mickey actually is starting to feel good telling him all this. The one person he wants to tell everything. He even tells Ian how he feared he was the cause of Ian's condition. Ian feels a strong tug in his heart. He knows that Mickey is more sensitive than he'll ever let on, and he feels terrible that Mickey took that guilt on himself. At that point, he comes in close for a hug and he just holds Mickey for awhile, neither of them talking. Finally, Mickey looks at him and says "Sandra thought it would be good for the two of us to come in together sometimes, so that we can work on where we are now so we don't ever go back to that mutual madness we were stuck in for so long."

Ian gives him a tender kiss and a smile, and that solves it.


	4. I Was Forever Yours From the Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's about to go down. A pivotal moment in their relationship.

Mickey and Ian were spending Christmas Eve at the Gallaghers. And what a day it was! The Gallagher kids and Kev, V and the twins were all there, of course. The usual suspects. But this year they were joined by Sammi, Chuckie, Mickey, Mandy, Svetlana, Gene and Amanda. Frank and Sheila were out of town, she had somehow convinced him to go with her to see Jody, Karen and Hymie in Sedona. No one wants to ask what she bribed him with to pull that miracle off, but it must have been something good.

They had made it a long way in this past year since Ian's bipolar disorder showed up. There had been a minor relapse at the end of the summer, but with adjustments to his medication it passed pretty quickly. All of them were still doing the sessions, and it had worked wonders on Mickey's relationship with the Gallaghers. Instead of talking over or around Mickey, they always asked for his thoughts on any given situation. Not just things involving Ian, but even their own individual lives. They began to see why Ian loved him and it made them love him too. Carl was always hanging around Mickey, since they were both into weapons. He and Mickey spent countless hours talking about different guns, knives, and the like. But Mickey's soft spot was reserved for Debbie, his other favorite freckled redhead. The girl lost in a sea of boys, much like Mandy. Sure, there was Fiona too, but she was always more of a mom to the kids than just a sibling. Mickey could see how that changed the dynamic. And besides, he will never forget her talking about her shiv. Who doesn't love a kid with a shiv?

They had exchanged presents, nothing extravagant of course, but everyone got something. The Gallaghers had all chipped in and bought Mickey a suit, since he didn't own one. He was really touched. It wasn't an Armani, but it wasn't a thrift store find either. It was a great charcoal gray that Ian knew would make Mickey's eyes shine. He made a mental image of that for later. The suit was Lip's idea, inspired after Amanda getting one for him. Lip cracked that Mickey could wear it his next court appearance. Mickey gave him the finger but laughed. The two of them would never be best friends, but they had reached some sort of peace in recent months. Ian noticed that Mickey didn't give him anything, but he didn't mention it. He was a little hurt but didn't want to make a big deal about it. They were strapped for money, spending what extra they had on Gene and getting a few things for the Gallaghers. Ian didn't want Mickey to feel bad for not being able to get him something when they bought gifts for his family.

As the night went on, the crowd started to thin out. Mandy was working an overnight shift so she left first. A little while later, Svetlana, Kev and V all left to put their little ones to bed. Mickey was relieved, to be honest. He and Svetlana were in a good place, but he still wasn't fully at ease with her. Mickey and Ian stayed to hang out with the Gallaghers and Amanda. The alcohol was flowing, the music pumping, and everyone was having a great time. When Ian realized that Mickey was pretty drunk, he figured he better get him home before he had to carry him there. They said their goodbyes and began to walk. Mickey was pretty unsteady on his feet, so Ian said "Get over here tough guy," and wrapped Mickey's arm around his waist, putting his own arm around Mickey's shoulders to steady him. This was going to be a long walk. Ian didn't care. He was in a damn good mood, and Happy Drunk Mickey usually lead to Rambling Confessions Mickey, so he was waiting to see where this could go.

As expected, Mickey started talking and didn't stop.

"Y'know Ian, never thought I'd say this but I like your family. I actually like them, and not because I have to because they're your family! Even Lip isn't so bad anymore. Carl is cool, but he keeps trying to get at the gun cabinet when he thinks I'm not looking. Keeps trying to get the key but I'm onto him. And Debbie, oh Debbie, I fuckin love her. She carries a SHIV, Ian... A SHIV! Ian, when we have kids I hope we have one that looks just like her. Because she looks like a little girl version of you. Those damn freckles, never knew I liked freckles. Said that redheads with freckles were alien looking once. Think that was just cuz I miss ya though. How would we do the kid thing anyway? I'm done sleeping with chicks. S'ok, we can figure that out."

Ian is biting his lip, fighting laughter. He doesn't want to get Mickey's attention because he knows Mickey will stop if he really realizes how much he's rambling. All of a sudden, Mickey stops in his tracks and Ian stops too, looking at him.

"Ian, let's get married!" Ian looks at him and says "Mick, you're already married." and Mickey waves this off with his hand. "Whatever, let's do it anyway!" Ian smiles and says "Mickey, we can't. You would have to divorce Svetlana and she doesn't have her green card yet. You guys agreed to stay married until she got her citizenship remember?"

Mickey thinks for a moment and replies "Well okay so we can't legally get married yet, so what? We can have like a non-wedding. Like a ceremony and a party and just not the legal shit. And when she's set, we can go to City Hall and do the license or whatever."

Ian is confused. This seems out of the blue, but Mickey has had a comeback for him with each thing he said. Had Mickey been thinking about this? Mickey had put back a few drinks tonight, but he wasn't as drunk as Ian thought. He could see Ian start to form the questions and hurried on before Ian could ask him anything.

"Ian, I know you noticed that I didn't give you anything tonight when everyone exchanged gifts. I was hoping you wouldn't say anything and I'm glad you didn't. I do have something for you but I wanted to wait until it was just us." With that, he let's go of Ian's waist and starts fumbling around in his own pocket. He pulls out a ring box and places it in Ian's hand, his own hand over it. "Ian, do I have to get down on one knee to ask you to marry me? I'm already like two feet shorter than you." He smiles and opens the box. He takes the ring out, holding it in his own hand. He looks up at Ian and says "Ian, I love you. Since we first started, it's only been you for me. Even when I couldn't say it. Even with every mistake I made, every time I pushed you away. I've hurt you so many times, and I have to live with that. But I've worked hard to come back from that, because you're worth it. You make me want to me better. I want to be with you forever. Not in hiding, not in abandoned buildings, not in dugouts late at night, not when no one is around. I want to be with you, I want it to be known that you're mine and I'm yours. I don't care if I have to wait a year, 5 years, 10 years. I want you to be mine, officially, legally. Say you'll be mine, forever." He looks up at Ian, those blue eyes showing Ian everything Mickey has to give him. Ian smiles and replies "Mickey, I've been forever yours from the start." 

Mickey puts the ring on Ian's finger and kisses him, right there in the middle of the street in Southside. They walk the rest of the way home hand in hand.

When they get home, Ian goes to take a shower. He takes his ring off so that he won't get it wet, and notices that there's engraving on the inside. He holds it up for a closer look, and when he reads it, he gets a tear in his eye. " _Ian, what you and I have makes me free_." He remembers when Mickey said those words to him at The Alibi. He leaves the bathroom in a rush and goes into their bedroom. Mickey is getting undressed, and Ian is on him in a flash, kissing him everywhere. The shower has been forgotten. They fall together on the bed in a heap, hands and lips exploring each other. Ian realizes this is the happiest day of his life, and it makes all the hardships they have lived through worth it.

The next morning when Mickey wakes up, Ian is already awake but hasn't gotten out of bed. He is laying there, just watching Mickey. When he realizes that Mickey is up, he says "I want you to wear the suit." Mickey is still half asleep, doesn't understand what Ian is talking about. "Huh?" Ian snuggles up closer to Mickey. "The suit. The suit my family got you for Christmas. I want you to wear it for our wedding." Mickey smiles and replies "Well what else would I wear?" Ian smiles back and it's settled. They get themselves up to get showered and dressed, they're heading back to the Gallaghers for Christmas Day breakfast. Ian can't wait to show them his surprise present. When they get there, it's chaos as usual but quieter. Lots of hangovers and sleep deprivation. After breakfast, they all pile in the living room to watch a movie. Mickey cocks his head at Ian as if to ask him a question and Ian nods. Mickey stands up and shouts "Hey yo, Gallaghers! Hold off on the movie for a minute, we have an announcement to make!" Everyone stops what they're doing and looks over. Mickey motions for Ian to join him and he complies. "As you guys know it's been quite a crazy ride for your brother and I, we've been through so much. But things between us have been great for over a year now. With that said, I hope you guys are ready for an extra brother... Because me and Ian got engaged last night." The Gallaghers go crazy, screaming and yelling in excitement, and they rush Mickey and Ian and scoop them up in a huge group hug. Everyone starts asking a million questions, about Svetlana and wedding plans, how they're going to handle that situation. They explain about having the ceremony but saving the legal stuff for later. Fiona and Debbie insist on being involved in the planning, which was to be expected. Ian turns to Lip and says "Bro, I know you and Mickey haven't always gotten along, but I love him. And I hope you'll do me the honor of being my best man." Lip hugs him and says "Seriously, Shithead? Of course I will." 

When things calm down, Debbie comes over to them and says "What about your name?" They look at her, confused. "What do you mean Debs?" asks Ian. "Well, when a guy and a girl get married, they usually just take the guy's name. Or maybe she hyphenates the names. What are you guys doing to do? You can hyphenate, or keep your own names I guess. Or pick either Gallagher or Milkovich." The guys look at each other. This hadn't even occurred to them. "Shit, I dunno. What do you think, Red?" Mickey asks Ian. Ian shrugs, not having any idea. He wants to be Mickey's, but he doesn't exactly want to be a Milkovich, although that would be a nice stab at Terry. "Hell, I don't know Mick. We could always just pick up the phone book and pick a random name and see what sticks." Debbie rolls her eyes at them. "IAN. You're not doing that, that's ridiculous. It's your NAME, it has to mean something. Maybe you guys can combine your names or something." They look at each other and smile.

And that's how they decided they would become the Gallaviches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided there will be one more chapter after this - The wedding. Don't forget to kudos or comment if you like the story!


	5. You Are The Love of My Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding is here!

Mickey wakes up early, alone in bed. He didn't sleep so great without Ian here. Who knew that Ian would be so traditional as to not want to see each other the night before the wedding? That's probably why he's up much earlier than he needs to be. He gets up and grabs his cell phone as he goes into the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. He opens his phone and texts Ian while waiting for the coffee to brew.

_Mickey: Missed you last night. Can't wait to see you this afternoon! How did you sleep?_  
Ian: Morning. I slept okay but I missed you too. Not the same trying to hug up on a pillow when you're not there for me to hug up on :-) Finish your vows?  
Mickey: Yup. Got them in the pocket of my suit waiting for me to read them to you. I'm gonna get ready soon, just making some coffee first. Too bad you're not here to make me pancakes ;-)  
Ian: lol I'll make you pancakes tomorrow  
Mickey: Deal! Go get yourself together, I'll see you in a few hours. Love you  
Ian: Love you too 

Mickey pours himself a cup of coffee and sits down at the table. Mandy appears a few minutes later and grabs her own cup and joins him. "Morning. How'd you sleep bro?" Mickey looks up at her. "Eh, like shit. Been a long time since I slept alone. Missed him last night, y'know? But it's all good, I'll see him in a few hours." Mandy nods and says "Mick, I know we don't talk about shit, but I just really want you to know that I'm so happy for you guys. It's like a dream come true, my brother marrying my best friend. You have come a long way. I know I don't need to say it, but I'm going to anyway. Don't fuck it up!" Mickey smiles and says "Don't worry Mandy, I've done all the fucking it up with Ian that I ever plan to do. Now come on, my best girl, we have a wedding to get ready for! You take the first shower, you chicks always take longer to get ready." Mandy obliges him and gets up to get ready. Mickey goes to sit outside and smoke a cigarette. It's really a beautiful day out, sunny and warm with just a hint of a breeze. They had decided on a spring wedding. Spring always feels like new beginnings, and they figured the symbolism worked perfectly. 

When Mandy is done, Mickey hops in the shower. He's thinking about everything that he and Ian have been through over the past few years. He can't even believe they have gotten where they are. He grew up never really knowing what happiness was, but he has found it in Ian. He can't wait to get there and see him. And they've actually planned a real wedding, with some help from the Gallaghers. Lip recruited a friend of his from college who is a photography major to take pictures. They have the ceremony and the reception all planned. Mickey never thought of himself of the marrying type, but he quickly came around when he found the right person. He gets out of the shower and gets himself dressed. His body is thrumming with nervous energy, in a good way. This is really happening. There's a knock on his bedroom door and Mandy comes in. She is wearing a simple but pretty black dress that she borrowed from Fiona. She looks at him and gets a little teary eyed. "Mickey, you look so handsome. Here, let me help you put on your tie." She comes over to him and starts to adjust his tie. They look at each other and smile. When she's done, she says "Are you ready? It's time to go." He nods and they're off.

They have rented a small rec room in the local community center. It's not fancy but it does the trick. Fiona, Debbie and Mandy handled the decorating. Mickey peeks in the window of the door and sees that it looks really nice in there, without being too girly. The guests are already there and the show is about to start. Ian, Mandy and Lip come in from outside and they are ready to get started. Rather than having any of their idiot parents give them away, Mandy is going to walk in with Mickey and Lip is going to walk in with Ian. Amanda plays violin, and she offered to play music for them to enter and exit to. Lip gives her the thumbs up from the door and she starts playing. Carl opens the doors and Ian and Lip enter first. They walk in side by side and make their way down the aisle. Mandy links arms with Mickey in the hallway. "You ready bro?" He smiles at her and says "I've never been so ready for something in my life." They enter the room, make their way down the aisle and join Lip and Ian. Ian takes Mickey's hands. They're ready to begin.

They have asked Sandra, their therapist, to officiate.

"Hello everyone. I have to say, this is quite out of the ordinary for me. But when I was asked by Mickey and Ian to officiate their wedding ceremony, I said yes immediately. I have been a therapist for a long time, but Mickey and Ian have been one of the rare couples that have really touched me. To say they have overcome many obstacles to be together is an understatement. The fact that we are here today is a testament to their love for each other. It is my understanding that Mickey and Ian have written their own vows. At this time, I'd like to give them the chance to speak these vows to each other. Ian, would you like to go first?"

He nods and takes his vows out. "Mick, if you had told me a year ago that we would be here today, I probably would have laughed at you. But here we are. You inspire me every day. From who you were when we first got together to who you are now. I've loved every version of you, but seeing how you've grown, how you have found the bravery to become your own person, it makes me love you on an even higher level. The fact that you did many of these things for me makes me want to remind you every day that you've made the right choice. I have never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. I am honored that you asked me to marry you, and so grateful to be standing here today. I love you." They smile at each other. Sandra says "Mickey, I believe it's your turn now."

Mickey takes his vows out and clears his throat. "Red, you are the love of my life. I didn't know that I deserved love until I met you. You are the kindest and most compassionate person I know. I probably wouldn't be able to forgive anyone who put me through even half of the shit I've put you through. When I did realize I loved you, I knew that I had to change if I even had a chance of earning your love and devotion. Everything I have done to become a better man for you has been worth it. You deserve the best of everything and it is my vow that I will move mountains to give you anything I can. I love you." They look at each other and each traces a heart on their own chests in unison. It's their special symbol to each other. Sandra takes them through the traditional vows, and Liam comes forward to give them their wedding bands. Ian places the band on Mickey's finger, and when Mickey reciprocates, a tear runs down his face. He's swelling with pride and love looking at Ian. They exchange a kiss and they are married. There is barely a dry eye in the room.

The reception is at The Alibi, because where else would it be? The alcohol is flowing, the music is pumping and everyone is partying like it's the last chance they'll have. It seems like everyone wants to make a toast to the happy couple. Eventually the night winds down and it's time to go home. They're walking back to the house and Mickey says "Hey Red, I want to take a little detour, it shouldn't take long." Ian is curious. "Okay... Where are we going?" Mickey replies "It's a surprise. Just come with me." They keep walking and Mickey heads them away from home. A few minutes later they are in some abandoned buildings. For a minute it doesn't click, and then Ian realizes where they are. The last time they were here, Ian was trying to confront Mickey and Mickey attacked him in response. Why would Mickey bring him to this shithole?

"Red, I know you're probably wondering what the fuck we're doing here. The last time we were here was awful, I was awful and scared and withdrawn. Unfortunately we have had a lot of places with negative memories tied to them. But as time has passed, we have made new memories in those places and that's helped to erase a lot of that. This is the last place that we haven't come back to, for obvious reasons. But I figured now was the time to make a happy memory here, so that we can really start our marriage with a clean slate." He takes Ian's face in his hands and gently kisses him. They wind up backed up against the wall of one of the buildings, pulling off each others' suits, and make some new happy memories indeed.

Two weeks later, Ian sees on the news that the buildings have been demolished to make way for some new construction. Seems fitting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end! Hope you enjoyed, feel free to leave some feedback and/or kudos if you did!


End file.
